Spice challenge

I must admit that I finished watching the last episode with a heavy heart. My stomach was turning throughout the whole show and even more so during the elimination ceremony.

After my audition, I felt like people had expectations of me but after yesterday's episode there was the sound of "Wah Wah Wah" in the background, or of a rocket falling to the ground and exploding (if you can imagine that sound in your head). Is it possible that from here on in, I’m just going to disappoint them?

This program is really challenging and it brings out things in me that I never imagined. I served the curry dish with confidence in its taste. The curry itself was delicious, the coriander yoghurt was a little spicy with a lot of lime and, in my opinion, it complimented it perfectly. I served it on a cold crispy cucumber salad and everything genuinely worked for me.

I made the mistake of choosing to reheat the chicken just before plating so that it would be hot when it reached the judges, which probably took the juiciness out of it. But the flavours of the dish were excellent.

That’s why, when Moshik said he didn't understand the connection between the coriander yoghurt and butter curry sauce, it caught me off guard. For me, a chilled yoghurt alongside a fiery, flavourful curry was the perfect combination. Even now, I still believe that.

There is no doubt that I hadn't yet fully understood the concept of the programme and you can see my lack of proficiency with my "rookie mistakes”. On the other hand, some of the other contestants had watched a marathon of every previous season before they arrived and trained on dishes endlessly in the restaurants where they work.

I don't know if it's because I came with the attitude of “What will be will be”, but it was important to me to be authentic, and for my reactions to be real, and I couldn’t see it in any other way. If it worked, it worked, and if it didn’t, then it didn’t.

In short, it was no fun watching this cringy episode whilst also knowing that this show might bring many more ups and downs.

Don’t worry, I don’t doubt myself. It’s just that I wasn’t portrayed the way I wanted, and although none of the chefs said anything insulting or bad, it affects me.